Peter looked round the table. Everyone was staring at their own laptop screen, tapping away frantically.
He cleared his throat loudly. There was a perceptible increase in tapping frequency, but nobody looked up.
“Right, everybody,” he aimed for his best conference chairing tone: firm and in control. “It’s two minutes past, and I know how busy you all are. Let’s get started. As usual, we’ve got a busy agenda, but I’m hoping to finish in record time today.”
One by one, heads were raised, and eyes turned towards him. One or two people glanced apologetically at him, and then returned to tapping, with gestures which might have meant ‘be with you in a minute, I must just finish this email’.
Peter turned to his left. “Marjorie, do we have any apologies?”
“Professor Dawson, Professor Patel, Professor O’Connolly, Dr Wisdom, Joyce Snape.”
Peter looked disapproving. “I know that our research professors have very busy schedules, but I do think that the Research Office should manage to get their representative to this very important committee. Can you minute our disappointment that Ms Snape isn’t with us, again?”
Marjorie leaned over and whispered loudly. “Well, actually, Professor Packer, Dr Snape did send in a reasonable excuse, she’s had to go to HEFCE to talk about that audit problem with the research budget. None of the professors actually sent in a reason, I just read out their names for the apologies because they never attend. It just seemed quicker.”
Peter frowned. “Let the minutes stand, Marjorie. The Research Office should be represented at the University’s principal Research Committee, whatever the reason. How are we to get any accountability from the administrators if they don’t turn up?”
There was a slight shuffling around the table. Most people were well aware that Joyce was away trying to persuade HEFCE officials that the discrepancies in their research budget were due to confusion rather than dishonesty. A lack of accountability of research budget-holders was possibly more of a problem than the Research Office failing to act on the decisions of their committee.
Peter ignored the unease in the room. “Right. Next item. Chair’s report.”
He looke down at his notes. “The research office has sent me in a report of activity since the last meeting. Fifteen applications in, for amounts ranging from £5,000 to £72,000. Pretty small beer, but worse than that, no major grant awards since our last meeting. That’s very poor. We’re nowhere near our targets for this year. I’m going to bring this up again in item 4b.”
Phil raised his hand tentatively.
Chris nodded graciously at him. “Dr Palmer.”
“Er, Peter, Professor Packer, it’s not a very good time for writing applications. Most people have had a lot of exam preparation and marking to do. Won’t there be more opportunities over the summer?”
Peter looked stern. “I do realise that you’re relatively new to this committee, Dr Palmer, but we like to set aspirations high all the year round. If you were more successful in bidding in your area, then you’d be able to buy yourself out of all of your time-consuming teaching and marking, wouldn’t you? That should be your target for next year.”
Phil shrank back slightly. He quite liked teaching. Getting out of it wasn’t his target at all.
“Right, next item in my report. Did any of you read the Times Higher last week?”
Blank looks all around the table. Phil had it delivered every week, but he kept quiet, in case it was some kind of trick question.
“Well, maybe you should,” continued Peter, “sometimes they do have some interesting stuff. For instance, this report.” He waved a print-out. “According to this student survey, students don’t understand how important research is to the value of their degrees.”
Phil raised his hand. Peter nodded at him.
“Wasn’t it more that, er, they were asking for lecturers to spend more time improving their teaching over and above focusing on research?”
He was aware of a slight reduction in tapping, and a movement of heads towards him. Peter stared at him. He looked somewhat lost for words.
“Well, obviously, Dr Palmer, I’m no expert in social science research, but I don’t think the response rate to this survey lets us determine any such thing. Nick Hillman from HEPI is quoted here as saying ‘it is clear from today’s data that students are not always certain of the benefits of research-informed or research-led teaching. Where they exist, they need to be more clearly communicated to students.’”
Phil wasn’t an expert in social science research either, but he had downloaded the actual report. He was pretty sure it suggested that universities should put more effort into improving teaching skills, and that students were less interested in research excellence. However, he could tell that it was in a minority in the room. “Oh. Sorry. My mistake.” He shrank back in his chair.
Peter raised an eyebrow at him, and then returned to his notes. “So, I propose that the Research Committee mandates me to request a further increase in budget to cover a) a marketing campaign to explain the benefits of research to the university’s reputation and rankings and b),” he looked up to emphasise this suggestion, of which he was very proud, “and b), to employ two post-docs in each faculty, to do some science communication in addition to their research briefs.”
He looked around the table in triumph. “What do you all think?”
There was silence. Even the tapping was paused. One or two people made eye contact, unusually for this committee.
A man in a tweed jacket cleared his throat. Everyone turned towards him. “Um,” he said. “Well. It seems like a reasonable response. We definitely need to spend more time and money on research.”
There was vigorous nodding.
“Thank you, Professor Pargeter.” Peter joined in the nodding. “So, I take it that’s agreed. Minute that, would you, Marjorie. Obviously it’ll find its way to Senate from there, but I won’t wait for that. I’ll go and see Phyllis straight after the meeting, to get an appointment with the VC. Excellent. Right, next item….”
The tapping resumed.
Wading through Treacle 